:: Running from the Thought Police ::

:: Monday, January 19, 2004 ::

You Know You've Been Waiting For It

The rules for the 2004 Edition of the State of the Union Drinking Game. I kept tally last year (I don't drink, though keeping score was fun) and I determined that the livers of anyone who actually played the game would seceede from the country. Of course, I do not condone such behavior, though I find that the State of the Union has enough predictable events to make it suitable for a drinking game an amusing fact.

My favorites for the year:

EVENT	# of Drinks
Every time he says....
“The state of our union is strong…”	1
Terror (however it’s pronounced)	small 1
“nukular”	1
multilateral or multilateralism	Group shot
unilateral or unilateralism	Choose one person to drink
aliens (as reference to immigrants)	1
aliens (as reference to extraterrestrials)	Look wistfully towards the heavens; then finish your drink
bipartisan or bipartisanship	2
Any mention of the deficit	3
prescription drugs	2
*bipartisan or bipartisanship, in the context of the prescription drug bill	+2
Announces a new program	2
* If the program will be massively expensive (use your judgement)	2
“Leave no child behind”	3
college or university or higher education	1
**Any word of 5 syllables or more	2 (bonus +1 if he stumbles through it)
Every time....
he praises a Democrat by name	2
they show either Bush daughter	2
they show an announced Democratic presidential candidate	1
he gets a standing ovation from HALF of Congress	2
they show a military official in uniform who looks asleep	2
Other
if he wears a blue tie (he has for the past two years)	1

Note: I'm learning how to mess with tables as I add to this post, so forgive me if it looks a bit weird when you see it. I also apologize to the insanely huge gap between the initial text of this post and the table below it. I'm not sure why this occurs, though I suspect that Blogger doesn't like embedded tables.

:: The Squire 11:16 PM :: email this post :: ::
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