:: Running from the Thought Police ::

:: Monday, May 10, 2004 ::

For Future Reference

If you want to disparage nearly any language, look no further than here.

Y'all should know the drill by now, so it should come as no suprise that I have favorites.

Classical Latin is essentially Liturgical Latin with correct pronunciation. --Dan Seriff

Church Latin is essentially reverse-engineered Italian. --Justin Mansfield

Canadian French is essentially bad English as spoken by a Belgian with an inferiority complex. --Ivan C. Amaya

All Romance languages are essentially the same. Except French. --Andreas Johansson

Spanish is essentially Italian spoken by Arabs. --Benct Philip Jonsson

Polish is essentially Russian spoken by a Frenchman. --Daniel von Brighoff

Polish is essentially a light form of Russian that even Germans can master. --Jay Bowks

Polish is essentially any other Slavic language with 70% of its consonants randomly shuffled. --Basilius

Irish is essentially an Indo-European language cunningly disguised as gibberish to perplex the English. --And Rosta

Of course, English by no means escapes such treatment.

English is essentially bad Dutch with outrageously pronounced French and Latin vocabulary. --Eugene Holman

English is essentially a language that uses vowels no other language would accept. --Luís Henrique

Australian English is essentially Cockney without the refinement. --Öjevind Lång

American English is essentially English after having been wiped off with a dirty sponge. --J.R.R. Tolkien

American English is essentially a tool to keep a person from ever being able to speak another language. --jmallet

The Queen's English is essentially Modern Anglo-Saxon as passed on by generation after generation of stiff necked Norman nobles with their noses in the air. --ilvi

English is essentially Low German plus even lower French minus any sense of culture. --Danny Weir

Yankee is essentially 18th Century English as altered by the impure thoughts of Puritans with cabin fever. --Jay Bowks

English is what you get from Normans trying to pick up Saxon girls. --Bryan Maloney

English is essentially a whore. --Lars Hendrik Mathiesen

English is essentially a West Germanic language that's trying very hard to look like a Romance one. --Andreas Johansson

English is essentially language's equivalent to a transvestite. --Andreas Johansson

Midwestern US English is essentially New England English with their sinuses filled with ice. --Andrew Johnson

English is essentially a language that doesn't care where syllable boundaries are. --Peter Bleackley

Inglish iz issenshali a langwidje dhat, wen rittun fonetkli, iz ilejibul tu netiv spikerz. --Peter Bleackley

English is essentially the language of people who think that everybody else speaks their language. French is essentially the language of people who think that everybody else should speak theirs. --Peter Bleackley

There are tons more "essentially" quotes pertaining to languages I know nothing about and therefore I don't find the quotes funny.

If you'd believe it, I found this site using a search for Animaniacs and Conjugation. This happens to have what I was looking for, though.

:: The Squire 5:12 AM :: email this post :: ::
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