:: Running from the Thought Police ::

Reality-Based Thoughts, Ruminations, and Unsolicited Opinions of a University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign ~~student~~ alumnus and employee.

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old glory

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands: one Nation, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.
:: Pledge of Allegiance, ca. 1923-1954
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[::..archive..::]


Sesame Street Terror Alert Indicator

[::..posts to note..::]
::daily illini/danish cartoon controversy timeline::
::evolution/young earth creationism correspondence series::
::versions of the pledge::
::evolution/id correspondence series::
::blogging style I hate::
::comments policy::
::why the name?::
::why pseudonymous?::

[::..local..::]
:: uiuc
:: uiuc weather
:: gruel
:: daily illini
:: retire the chief
:: iems
:: uiuc college dems
:: champaign co. dems
:: champaign co. clerk
:: chambana craigslist
:: news-gazette
:: the point
:: the catholic post (diocese of peoria)
[::..pertinent..::]
:: owasippe outdoor education center
:: owasippe staff association
:: owasippe blog
:: benet academy
:: wikipedia
:: bsa fieldbook 4th ed
:: the guide

Shrub Alert


[::..lefty blogs..::]
:: daily kos
:: talking points memo
:: atrios' eschaton
:: uggabugga
:: orcinus
:: political animal
:: the bellman
:: rittenhouse review
:: brad delong's semi-daily journal
:: blah3
:: quark soup
:: freeway blogger

[::..medblogs..::]
:: the cheerful oncologist
:: kevin, m.d.
:: far from perfect
:: doctor
:: the lingual nerve
:: db's medical rants
:: the examining room of dr. charles
:: retired doc's thoughts

[::..illinois blogs..::]
:: archpundit
:: random act of kindness
:: peoria pundit
:: modern vertebrate
:: polite dissent
:: narciblog
:: respublica
:: state rep. john fritchey's blog

Homeland Terror Insurance System


[::..local blogs..::]
in location and spirit
:: it's matt's world
:: the next frontier
:: foleyma
:: uiuc college dems blog
:: tim johnson watch
:: iss blog
:: an old guy
:: josh rohrsheib
:: zwichenzug
:: bang my head upon the fault line
:: illini? or huskie?
:: illini wonk
:: illinipundit
:: discursive recursions
:: willBLOG
:: news-gazette weblogs
:: cu blogs.com

[::..catholic blogs..::]
that aren't boring or caustic
:: catholic ragemonkey
:: the shrine of the holy whapping
:: waiting in joyful hope
:: bad catholic
:: unapologetic catholic

[::..feeder blogs..::]
:: the raitt stuff
:: doublethink
:: mel
:: uncensored blog madness
:: zwichenzug holding zone
:: steeph's blog
:: the lion and the donkey

[::..flag of interest..::]

:: the city of new orleans flag

[::..biased reporting..::]
:: the nation
:: dubya's scorecard of evil
:: smirking chimp
:: the register
:: progressive punch

[::..wastes of time..::]
:: the onion
:: dave barry's blog
:: a private dick's blog
:: addicting games
:: darwin awards
:: college humor
:: devil's dictionary x
:: democrats.com
:: popdex.com

Homeland Conservative Advisory System


[::..cartoons..::]
:: weebl and bob
:: strongbad email
:: neurotically yours

[::..ego inflation..::]
:: blogosphere ecosystem details

Enhanced Terror Alert


<< # St. Blog's Parish ? >>

:: Monday, September 27, 2004 ::

'Let's Make A Deal' Gone Wrong

So I walk in the men's room looking to have a quick squat on a porcelain throne. Now, every corner restroom in the dorm has three stalls apiece for leaving number two (or hurling it back up before it gets that far). Being weird, I decide to go for Door Number Two.

Behind Door Number Two: an unflushed privy. Ewww.

I do believe I'll trade on this one, Monty. In fact, I'll go for Door Number One.

Behind Door Number One: a clean commode.

At first inspection, this bodes well, until I notice that there's no toilet paper in the stall. This is eerily similar to a sorority girl - attractive at first, but disappointing on the follow-through. Thanking God I'm not really on the game show, I take my third option (but not last - there's another three stalls in the men's room down the hall) and go for Door Number Three.

Behind Door Number Three: a clean throne, with a small but managable supply of 'the important papers.'

Having found a suitable stall, I proceeded to do my business and think up this horrid extended analogy.

:: The Squire 1:59 AM :: email this post :: ::
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