:: Running from the Thought Police ::

:: Friday, September 24, 2004 ::

That's Just Mean

The Onion's take on the Bush family biography starts in fact and goes downhill from there - the second to last one is the worst in my opinion (not that it's not funny...).

...In fact, looking at the article on Matchbox 20's new album being bland, recycled pop crap, I'm willing to call this week's entire issue one of the meanest I've come across.

The release has been eagerly awaited by Matchbox Twenty's enormous fan base, composed of American record buyers who have a limited interest in music but enjoy the act of shopping. In order to satisfy the undemanding non-tastes of this lucrative market, Matchbox Twenty has made every effort to create what record-industry insiders say is the band's least distinctive album yet...

After the enormous commercial success of 1996's Yourself Or Someone Like You, demand for simplistic, cookie-cutter output from the band has been high. Yet, according to Grammy-winning lead vocalist Rob Thomas, the new record's release was delayed repeatedly because of Matchbox Twenty's perfectionism in the studio.

"Our goal was to follow in the tradition of great multi-platinum artists like Elton John, Phil Collins, and the Dave Matthews Band—sales powerhouses who relied on the musical ignorance of their fans," Thomas told reporters following Monday's announcement. "We knew that if we wanted to match those historic giants for sheer lack of energy, we couldn't settle for anything less than total banality. And, though it took a lot of time and effort, I think we achieved that—an album that sets a new standard for trite crapola."

"It's really derivative and boring," he added.

Again, not that it's not funny...

:: The Squire 4:00 AM :: email this post :: ::
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