:: Running from the Thought Police ::

:: Friday, May 13, 2005 ::

Green Street Observations

Since the dorms stopped serving meals this afternoon, I had to go up to Green Street to find something to eat. While I was there I walked past a number of lines of people trying to get into the bars for their one last chance to get smashed before going home to mommy and daddy. As I was walking by, I couldn't help but thinking a couple thoughts.

First, women shouldn't wear slutwear that is ugly and/or doesn't fit. I know that you dress that way specifically so that you can be objectified by frat guys and get free drinks off of them, but could you please do us sober people a favor and make sure you're not dressed in God-awful colors when you do so? Bananna yellow looks good on next to nobody, so please think before you dress yourself. Also - make sure that if you have certain types of tops, that you actually fit them. My mom does sewing and other handcrafts, so while I might not be able to tell you why, I do know when your clothes aren't cut right for you.

Secondly, whoever it is who decided that female beer guts are sexy is someone you shouldn't listen to. I am among the first to admit that I lost my stick figure sometime during sophomore year. However, I wear t-shirts and button-down oxfords, which make me look as skinny as I was as a freshman. I don't see why the beer whores feel the need to flaunt their alcohol-induced guts when they go out drinking. A properly sized t-shirt (and not a baby-t, those are part of the problem) can hide a multitude of sins of the figure. Wear one of those, or at least something that doesn't show off the fact that you've gained ten pounds since the last time you had money to buy slutwear.

Oh, and as a general announcement, beer sluts don't need to have their cell phones plastered to their ears. If you are one, please remember that I can tell by your state of dress that you likely don't have much going on upstairs; you don't need to remove all doubt by blathering on your cell phone with your vapid friends.

Thank you. That is all.

:: The Squire 10:47 PM :: email this post :: ::
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